Personal Journeys

Inka

Tara, UK

“Refusing to forgive is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”

Making the step to truly forgive is one of the most spiritually rewarding actions we can do. It is said that succeeding to forgive is like setting a prisoner free, and then realising that the prisoner was you. Most of us know we should forgive, or even think we already have, until a word, a glance or a gesture presses that sensitive button inside that replays emotions, negative thoughts, cynical comments and scenes as if they happened now, and not ‘then’.

Before embarking on my spiritual journey with Tara, forgiveness was not really the easiest quality for me to manifest. In fact – I didn’t even know I needed it! I successfully convinced myself that I get over things very fast, whereas on closer inspection I noticed that I held grudges very easily, I could develop resentments in a nano second, I could give you the coldest shoulder ever, being indifferent and dismissive.

Instead of applying the principle of “amnesty”, I accumulated feelings of anger and bitterness that began poisoning my entire being, subconsciously controlling my actions, making me feel isolated and lonely, even causing pain and discomfort in my physical body. The ego is really cunning and baffling.

One thing I noticed from the beginning in many of the more advanced students, practitioners and teachers at Tara was a sense of warmth, a ‘glow’ that was almost visibly coming from their chest! I realised one day that they expressed a treasure I have been looking for my whole life, a key to my freedom – compassion. I recognised within myself the ineffable aspiration to drop all the heavy rocks of resentment I was carrying, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I realised that I lacked the qualities of compassion and forgiveness because I had none of them towards myself. This reality shocked me.

I asked for suggestions and guidance from my trusted teachers and through continuous yoga practice focusing on Anahata chakra, the heart centre, very soon I started to feel softer in my heart. I started to see people who had hurt me differently, having genuinely made a mistake without the intention to cause harm, seeing them from the compassionate perspective of God.

I can honestly say that yoga postures, meditation and quiet prayer have unchained me from a prison of animosity which I put myself into and lived in for many years. I can much more easily, and much faster, centre in my heart in any situation and redirect the attention to love.

Forgiveness is a beautiful and essential quality for any human being, but I feel, of a woman especially. The woman that I always intended to be but, sadly, forgot. Loving, caring, full of compassion and forgiveness and striving for freedom and authentic happiness.

Kirsten

Tara, UK

The challenges that we’ve faced all over the planet in the last months and years have the power to easily shake our self-confidence. When so many of the things that we rely on validating ourselves in relation to, are taken away, we’re also called from within to seek a more stable source of confidence that doesn’t shudder under the pressure of outer circumstances.

My name is Kirsty, I am in the 6th year of the Yoga and Tantra courses, and would like to share some of my process and the realisations this journey has brought me personally…

The intention to cultivate genuine self-confidence with the help of my yoga practice came from a place of longing. I was exhausted and unhappy from feeling unfulfilled, feeling that I wasn’t the confident, happy woman I could be.
Through the principles taught in the yoga course, it became clear that to succeed I had to make the source of my confidence something much higher than a pretty dress or new haircut.

Inspired by my teachers, I began a practice of reminding myself, as often as possible, to be humble. This came with the intention to be more open to and confident in what the Universe has to offer me and to surrender to it. I realised that every life situation is significant and an opportunity for transformation. I understood through this practice that I could find contentment even in apparent obstacles. The influence of my preferences and prejudices diminished and a more innate and stable confidence emerged within.

I realised that genuine confidence is unshakable even in the most brutal of storms. It is not about being the loudest or funniest person in the room, or the most daring, but rather a state that is cultivated continuously by being firmly rooted in the heart. Navigating the unknowns, whilst having full certainty regarding my place in life and trusting the direction that my heart points towards.

I feel I can also be much more authentic, and freely manifest my femininity, in the way that I longed for. I feel a confidence not only in facing (sometimes scary) challenges, but also in surpassing and transforming through them. My faith in a higher reality, validated and expanded through my practice, is the foundation that allows me to truly say ‘yes!’ to life.

I have begun to understand that genuine self-confidence is a quiet confidence that does not require or call for a spotlight, but rather is the light itself.

Pierre

Amrita Yoga, Thailand

Up until a couple of years ago I used to live a “normal” North American life. I went to university, studied physical therapy, and practiced professionally for two years. After a while, I started feeling like something was missing. So I quit, packed a bag and left for Asia, looking for something, but no idea what. I traveled to Nepal and walked through the snowy Himalayas for three weeks. Then I flew to Thailand and went to the islands. As any Canadian man in his twenties, the only thing I did there was partying. Full moons, lots of alcohol and so on. For Christmas 2019, I found myself in the middle of the night, in a hostel bathroom, drunk and sick. Definitely not the most glorious moment of my life. I did not know it at that time, but now I can say it: it was the last time I allowed that to happen.

Only four days later I was sitting in the yoga hall of Amrita Integral Yoga Center (Mahasiddha Yoga’s retreat center), ready to enter into mauna (the practice of silence) for the next ten days. For the record, I have never practiced yoga before and my experience with meditation was an occasional 5 minutes with an app on my phone and a Buddhist meditation which I learnt from a small book I bought in Pokhara, Nepal. Just before entering mauna, we were invited to say a few words to ourselves, our last spoken words for the next 10 days. I told myself: “You are exactly where you are supposed to be, I love you”. I remember I started crying immediately. It was the first time I had such a conscious dialogue with myself. This was the beginning of an incredible journey.

The following ten days were filled with an unimaginable amount of grace, love, happiness and peace, like I have never experienced before. I started to hear the voice of my heart, I connected with the ultimate source of the Universe, God, I started to see myself reflected in all living beings around me, etc. Spiritual experiences of ecstasy, bliss and incredible happiness were frequent. But sometimes my ego would bring me back to some tremendous moment of intense anxiety. On one such occasion I decided to communicate with one of the teachers, Radu. I wrote to him, as we were still in silence. His words had the effect of a soft and warm embrace upon my heart. He explained to me what was happening, and he suggested that I go back to my room and cry, not coming out for as long as I still have tears to cry. This is exactly what I did and, miraculously, the state of peace and extreme happiness reappeared once that river of emotions came out of my being.

Another experience that completely overwhelmed me was during a spiral meditation which we did over the moment of New Year 2020. One of the teachers, Blandine, was guiding us through the meditation. At one point, she told us all to go into our soul and make a wish for the new year to come. I remind you here that the week before I was almost unconscious, sick and drunk in a toilet. Needless to say that I had no idea how to reach my soul. Nevertheless, I tried to uplift myself intuitively with the images of the snowy mountains of Nepal. I started feeling very energized. My entire being was buzzing. I reached a point where it seemed like I had only two options: either faint on the ground or open my eyes, sit down and interrupt my meditation. I did neither, because a tremendous force started pulling me higher and higher in consciousness. I felt like I had nothing to lose and I was very curious where this would lead me. At one point, a man appeared in front of my inner gaze. Very peaceful, white hair, white beard, divine kindness in his eyes. I have never seen him before. He was standing in front of a door. The door was slightly opened and what I could see was pure light coming from the other side of the door. He told me: “Come, I will show you your soul.” I did not know what to say or do. I simply surrendered to the experience and I followed him. Immediately after crossing that door, I could see nothing but light. Everything was light. An ocean of bliss, pure happiness. I bathed in that state until the end of the meditation. I was mesmerized. I had absolutely no idea what just happened to me. Back to my room, I could not sleep. I was vibrating with a tremendous joy that I was not able to explain. I simply could not stop smiling. Everything was perfect.

With such experiences, I felt I needed to stay longer than the initial ten days in silence, in order to crystalize my state. With kindness and understanding, Uriel, Blandine and Radu accepted my request and allowed me to stay longer in Amrita, which also gave me the possibility to attend Tantra Immersions 1 and 2. I had never heard the word Tantra before so I was curious. Many experiences and revelations occurred in those immersions.

At the end of my stay, 21 days later, I was completely new, reborn and in love with Shakti. I felt like a child coming back into the world with purified eyes, enlightened heart and tremendous desire to explore life and consciousness. I immediately started the weekly Yoga and Tantra courses with Mahasiddha. There’s an extraordinary grace that flows through the three teachers and through the entire school. Everything is perfectly aligned. As a student with aspiration, you receive exactly what you need to receive in the moment when you need to receive it, and this happens week after week. There were so many times when I was struggling with something in life. In those precise moments, during the weekly class, the teacher would say: “Today, we will learn a yoga posture that helps with this or that”, and it would be exactly what I was struggling with just before the class.

After two more years of wandering, I returned to Thailand, and I decided to live in the very place where, almost exactly 2 years ago, my entire world shifted upside down, for the better. I am now an active member of the community and to be living everyday among people with immense aspiration to perfect themselves and to reach God is a blessing.

This was a very short version of the story of how Mahasiddha Yoga, through the Grace of God, has completely transformed me and my life and keeps supporting my growth and transformation in order to get closer and closer to the Absolute.

Ronan

Natha, Portugal

I am most grateful for the teachings I receive in the courses of Atman Federation. I was trained as an engineer to operate based on concrete parameters, logic and measurable results.

And this is what I value the most about Atman. Having been part of its 3 main courses (yoga, tantra and meditation) I am most impressed by how comprehensive and thorough they are. The very scientific and step by step approach, together with a perfect marriage of theory and practice has allowed me to bring this path to life within my own life.

And my life has radically improved on its three main axis: my health improved radically, my relationships became very profound and fulfilling and my work is finally crowned with a sense of purpose.

I am beyond grateful for the profound inner transformation I am going through in my life since I joined the courses, and I am looking forward to continue this wonderful journey of Self-discovery.

Thank you!

Ágúst

Natha, Denmark

I started to attend Tantra classes at Natha Yoga Center about 10 years ago and I have also been a volunteer for Natha for the last 7 years. In the first few years after I started the Tantra course, I was still in an intense struggle with some personal issues which, at that time, caused regular and overwhelming emotional pain and suffering. I managed to surpass this most difficult trial in my life by the skin of my teeth, with all the help I received from the teachings and many friends and teachers of Natha.

I learned to find meaning and purpose in life, to find my place in this continuously-unfolding world. Being a part of this spiritual school has offered me an absolute reference that guides me in navigating through life. With this, the previously experienced disorientation was removed, as well as the feelings of emptiness, meaninglessness, isolation and depression that used to trouble me. Life became much more real and truly lived. I learned to stop getting in the way of all the good things that were and are meant to blossom through me, for myself and for others.

And so, my life took a dramatic turn for the better. For the last couple of years it has become the paradise I’ve always wanted and known that I could live in. It may seem unbelievable, but it has now become like a dream-come-true. The kind of dreams that aren’t unique to me, but are the deepest longings of every human soul. The things that I have learned in the courses at Natha that helped me so much, and continue to help me on this journey, aren’t just helpful in my case. I believe they are the help that any person can use on the path to a successful, meaningful and joyful life, a life that’s lived much more in the land of the spirit from which we come, and to which we all belong, in the end.

Youssef

MISA, Romania

I would like to share that I grew up in two consecutive wars and lived many years as a refugee, moving from country to country, which has caused accumulated physical, emotional and social tensions. These tormented me throughout my life, until I started practicing yoga.

At 35 years old I attended my first tantra class in Copenhagen, at Natha. I felt right away in the practice, from the warming up exercises, that my energy started to harmonize and that I was less and less stressed. After the class it felt like life had come back to me, I felt it was the right place for me to be and wanted to continue.
I started attending every class Natha offered and any workshop accessible to beginners. With every class or workshop, I felt that a part of me was healed, that I was more and more in harmony. I would come out happy and joyful after each class, even when my initial state was often one of tension, sorrow and sadness before the class started.

After 3 years of being in this beautiful community, where people choose to see one another through an elevated vision, to focus on beneficial qualities that each one has, a significant shift happened: my tormented youth and childhood became a gift, a treasure of experiences that I could learn from and inspire others with.

Now, after 8 years of being in this loving, wonderful community and of being guided by my spiritual guide, I made bigger and bigger inner transformations that have made me happier, healthier and helped me to find true purpose and meaning in my life. And for now, I still aspire to increase my ability to love and to become a blessing and a channel of happiness for the people around me.

Thank you to my spiritual guide Grieg, and thank you to all the wonderful yogis who embraced me in their hearts.

Mariia

Satya Yoga School, Russia

I started practicing tantra yoga 18 years ago. I was going through a very difficult period in my life, I was in a state of depression, I was tormented by a feeling of hopelessness and meaninglessness of existence. Those inner torments had a very harmful effect on my physical health. And the most unpleasant thing was that I did not understand what exactly was oppressing me. One of my friends advised me to try yoga. So I found the answers to my unasked questions at Satya Yoga School.

I found not only an explanation of the fundamental principles of the universe, but also practical and quite accessible methods to start applying them in my life. In a few months I felt like a different person – like by a miracle I was healed from both: mental and physical pain, and instead of it came a state of harmony, inner balance and understanding of how I want to live my life.

I had a clear sense that this is the meaning of my existence – to help others find answers to both the essential questions of existence and the lessons of the life situations they face every day and how to surpass them. I have realized that it is by teaching others that I learn myself and I transform with my students.

It is very important to me to share the value of the Esoteric Tantra Yoga course with as many people as possible. First: there are no prerequisites or requirements, you can start at the level you are at. Secondly: tantra yoga is the most suitable spiritual path for modern people, because the intensity of experiences is not forbidden, but on the contrary is a kind of springboard for transformation. And thirdly: the course explores topics that are very relevant in everyday life, one of the most extensive topics being couple relationships. We are not taught anywhere how to harmoniously build and develop relationships with our loved ones, but this is a huge and very important part of life for most people. Tantra Yoga views couple relationships as a path of spiritual development.

Tantra Yoga has changed my life, brought happiness, harmony and meaning to it. And I invite you to see for yourself! Come to the esoteric tantra yoga course!

Anna

Rezonance Spiritual School, Czech Republic

I could give many examples of how the courses of the Duchovní školad Rezonance (Spiritual School Rezonance, Czech Republic), which I have been attending for more than 8 years now, have changed my life for the better, but I would like to talk more about one of the most valuable benefits for me – the transformation of my intimate relationships.

As a young girl, I had a strong intuition that love holds a tremendous fulfillment and it often seemed to me that being in love was perhaps the very meaning of existence and life and that lovemaking could lead to complete happiness. But the amorous experiences that I had in that stage of my life convinced me otherwise – in the intimate sphere I experienced feelings of alienation, disappointment and misunderstanding, and I gradually abandoned my earlier visions as “youthful naivety”.

Despite the unfulfilling experiences, however, there remained a strong desire to experience complete merging with the beloved, and I felt that lovemaking had an inherently sacred, divine, cosmic dimension. When I first heard about Tantra, I felt certain that my perception was not a lonely folly. I looked into a few tantric books, and while they piqued my interest, they fell far short of providing what I was looking for.

When I came to the Tantra Yoga course at Rezonance, I felt that I had arrived home. Each class was like water to a thirsty person, each week I heard answers to my unspoken questions from my instructors and was offered a direction that matched the voice of my soul. I found that this extremely strong desire for total merging with the beloved is what leads in tantra to the so-called glorious androgynous state, that is, the state where the boundaries between plus and minus, between male and female, disappear in the intensity of love, where duality becomes one. It might sound like a theory, but I think that glimpses of this state are experienced by every person who is truly in love and desires to be with another being all the time, to connect with him/her until they become completely one.

I have been fortunate enough to fall in love with a man who chooses the same path as I do, and together we are learning to apply the techniques of erotic amorous continence, one of the fundamental pillars of the teachings of Gregorian Bivolaru. I am discovering that striving to truly experience the paradise of love is neither naivety nor fantasy, but a basic human need. And this pursuit is also a conscious and continuous work that one needs to make an active choice to do, and it would be wrong to judge it without authentic experience.